Flowers and beans

Hi. I wasn't going to blog tonight. I was going to be asleep by midnight. Then, I started listening to Outlandos d'Amour and got blown away. Then, I wikipedia'd the Police and although on some level I was aware that they are like, functioning as a unit again (considering ticketmaster sends me a "Don't miss the Police" email roughly 7 times a day, and considering I saw them play on the Grammys), I never knew the full details. See, what had happened was....they basically broke up in 1986, and as of the Grammys (like, 40 days ago) they are back together for the first time in 21 years and about to kick off a tour.

But here's the important thing. The article happened to mention that they are playing Live Earth.

(Excuse me?)

Live Earth.

(What was that?)

Live freaking Earth, dude! Apparently it's Live Aid for climate change. So I pretty much just figured out what I'm doing on July 7th this year....

I have to say it's pretty effing astounding that environmentalism and human rights have become..... cool. I mean, fuck. Two years ago I was routinely getting punched in the face for even having subconscious thoughts that other human beings matter and that we need to not shit in our own nest if we want to make it past the year 2050.

I know. I KNOW!! The whole thing is exceedingly boring and you want to know why in hell the title is "Flowers and beans." Fine, fucker. It's because I was going to write the blog about one of my German roommates, who is evidently the coolest and most hysterically funny person I have ever seen. Basically the whole thing was going to revolve around the fact that in an attempt to explain how lame and not hot the Paris Hilton sex tape is, he said, "If you want to tell your kids about flowers and beans, just show them this tape!" I had no fucking clue what that meant at first, and then another German roommate was like, "Flowers and bees, tool ratchet, not beans." And that's when I fell out.

When I could breathe again I was like No, Dudes. The birds and the bees. Silly!

And then a lot of other funny stuff happened, and then I went and locked myself in my room because it was too funny and I couldn't take it...